So you’re probably wondering what “S” word I am talking about. Well, let me get that word off my chest right now: sexy.
Throughout the years, this word has meant so many different things to me. I don’t even know how to explain it, but basically, I think of the word,” attractive” to be no where near synonymous to the “S” word, but there is a fine line. If I do not feel attractive, then, of course, it affects my confidence. Did I feel attractive days after giving birth? No! Do I feel attractive in the morning with my pj’s, coffee breath, and messy hair? No! But overall, I feel generally confident about myself. It doesn’t control my life to the point of running to the nearest plastic surgeon or running away from intimacy from my husband. Is it okay to feel and look attractive? Yes. I am a grown woman. God built us that way. But, you are not going to see me oozing with sex appeal. That's not what I believe embodies the word attractive or honors God. You won't see me with five inch heals, glitter shirts, tight dresses, or posing provactively in front of a camera and then posting it on a public interface like facebook for a minor ego boost.
But what does that “S” word mean in the eyes of a child? You might be thinking that a child has no business knowing or understanding this word. However, you may be wrong in the eyes of society. You are probably wrong according to any owner of a mall, public advertising, HGTV, Applebees, Macy’s and Mastercuts!
Where am I going with this? Let me tell you about my mother- daughter experience with Addison yesterday.
Addison and I spent the afternoon together while Zach stayed home with Sydney. I planned to take her to lunch to any restaurant of her choosing, to pick out a dress for her father/daughter dance this coming weekend, and to get her hair trimmed.
We began our bonding journey at Target to try to find a dress there. We had no luck, so we stopped for lunch at Applebee’s on our way to the mall. Immediately upon getting a nice booth table, I noticed the music was up kind of loud in the restaurant. It was secular music, which is normally not what we listen to. I keep our radio dials locked on Christian channels. While waiting for our food, Addy and I played a game on the kiddie menu they gave us. Then, something terrible happened. You may be so desensitized to this, that it may not be a big deal to you. It was to me. Justin Timberlake’s “Sexy Back” song came on. I think he says the “S” word 150 times. Time felt like it stood still as I cringed every single moment I heard it while in the presence of my highly impressionable child. My blood pressure started to rise and I envisioned a curt conversation with the general manager. I would have said,
“Is this appropriate music for a family restaurant?” I wish I was brave enough to speak to that person and walk right out of the restaurant. I want to cry when I think about it. Addy even said, “Mom, I am NOT listening to the words of this song!” I am so proud of her.
She knows. Needless to say, I had a small conversation about the word and to let her know I was proud of her.
Then we traveled to the mall where the “S” word seeps out of every clothing store add, song, and outfit meant for any girl or woman, young or old! First, we walked directly towards an Aeropostal commercial on a digital board with very young girls walking around in bras and panties. I almost thought it was a Victoria’s Secret commercial. It’s more upsetting knowing that this store is geared toward preteen and high school girls. While covering Addy’s eyes, we made our way to Macy’s to pick out a dress.
Macy’s had tons of pretty dresses, but when did clothing store designers decide it was okay to make little dresses look like something meant for a young woman? Of course, my highly impressionable daughter wanted the tight dress, not the wholesome floral dress with a pink ribbon. I don’t think it was the fact that it was tight, but the pink and purple colors with glitter butterflies commanded my daughter’s attention. I cringe at the thought of the future arguments we will have over this same issue when she is a bit older. I second-guessed myself and wondered if I was being too sensitive over the whole issue. I had her try the dress on three different times. We decided to buy it and ask Daddy for his approval. I really needed Zach at that moment in time.
After leaving the mall, we went to the nearest MasterCuts where we patiently waited in line for Addy to get a hair trim. While waiting, some rap song came on with the “S” word along with other horrible words. By this time, I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, but instead, we patiently waited outside, in the cold rain until I knew for sure the song was over.
Yesterday sucked for lack of better words. The dress is going back. Zach could not decide if the dress was inappropriate or not, but we both knew that it was not what we envisioned our daughter to wear to a daddy daughter dance. We sat Addy down and told her about what we think she should wear and asked her if the pink and purple dress honors God. She said she wasn’t for sure, so we validated our belief by breaking it all down to her and picking a dress out that she already has in her closet. To my surprise, she remained happy and did not throw a fit. Zach and I both commended her on her behavior today and I prayed and prayed last night for God’s wisdom and guidance to help me through these types of circumstances.
To add, too many family channels are not so family-friendly anymore. The “S” word is used to describe home décor like it's going out of style. I really thought that HGTV would be a safe channel, but it’s not. Nothing is safe anymore for our children. If you think I am crazy, you have become desensitized to this “S” movement. I am not going to stand for it and I am going to right my wrong of exposing Addy to all of this by writing these companies and not shopping there or watching those channels anymore. I know one thing, I can control what goes on in
my house and with
my children under
my watch and I am never going to let what happened yesterday, happen again.
NEVER.
This store advertises to 14-18 year olds. Looks like a Victoria's Secret add and they specialize in push-up bras. We are so desensitized about what a woman should really look like, that we are already pushing our young girls into this unattainable mold.
The brand, BCX girl, sold at Macy's specializes in making "S" dresses for little girls. Tight, short, and revealing.
Does this song honor God? I think not.
My sweet Syd and me
